Nobody cares.
Together, these two words create such a paradoxical range of emotions. On one hand, it’s freeing to not have expectations for everything that you do - to have the freedom to experiment and find yourself in a time when you’re staring down every path imaginable.
But it’s also scary, frustrating, and debilitating. You manage to be both your biggest cheerleader and critic, and there’s nobody externally to tell you that you’re riding too high or too low on yourself. It’s demoralizing to feel so alone in such a vast crowd, entering the workforce in the shadow of a pandemic that ends up leaving most applications rejected if they even get acknowledged to begin with.
Somehow you have to will yourself forward day by day as life remains stagnant. I find myself needing to escape like I need to breathe to have a momentary reprieve from the slog of trying to find any kind of footing.
For now though, I’m in a limbo with nothing new really to show for anything.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for proving me wrong. I promise it’ll be a lot shorter than three months between the next update.